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Dilema of two generation

I have a friend here in Kuwait city, a girl, a Hindu, from Haryana whose parent are also in Kuwait City . We both went to school together here, then joined college. In the college my friend fell in love with a Hindu boy from Andhra Pradesh. Boy's parent are also working in Kuwait City. After college we all moved on to different career. and I lost track of my friend.

Recently I accidently met her with the same boyfriend in a restaurant in Dubai. She was working as a trainee manager in a hotel, he was working in a branch of American Bank in a good post. They both wanted to marry.Because they were settled in good job, earning decent salary. Then I returned home to Kuwait city.

It was at a party of a dozen Indian expatriates that I met my friend's parent. I told them I met her in Dubai, but not about her boyfriend. Then her dad told me that he has found a groom for the daughter in India who is a high up in IT sector with WIPRO. A nice boy from a good family, excellent education and six figure salary.

Now....I am in a fix. I know now what my friend want. I also know what her parent want. My dilema is to whom should I break the news of what the ground reality is. Or shall I keep quiet and let the events take its own course.

What do you suggest ?

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Permalink Reply by Gaurav Gupta on June 24, 2012 at 11:17pm

In my view you should not indulge in this matter, sooner or later girl's parent will inform her about their plan to marry.Let them free to make the decision on their own.Despite being friend of her you are seprate individual if you really want to help her then try to explore your 'saheli' friend that if tere mom dad ne kahi aur shadi kara di to kya karegi agar ladka handsome six figure income wala hua to kya karegi ? Kya tu apne boy friend ko chahti hai blah blah if Your friend would really love her bf then sure will nt go anyother side to marry some one else.You should not try to manipulate the situation be sincere and clear on the issue.Simply i have never seen any trend that north indian girls like to marry south indian guys in most of the cases.Whats happening out side i dont know.Haryana girl are mostly married in east up delhi punjab Rajsthan.Now you have to only explore her will.Waise Haryanvi grls thodi garm mijaji hoti hai so be sincere.

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Permalink Reply by Rachna Gupta on June 25, 2012 at 12:10am

Gaurav sir, your advise is good. I will think about it. I just keeping my finger crossed. As you say, my Hariyanvi girlfiend is of quite garam mizaaz. But her boyfriend is just the opposit. So they make ideal pair.

I invite more suggestions. My situation is awkward. It is A ,B, and C. A has plan x, B has plan y. A doesn't know plan y. B doesn't know plan x. I being C knows both plan, x and y. I want to help my friend but same time don't wan't to become villain for her parent.

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Permalink Reply by Rohini on June 25, 2012 at 1:05am

Something like this happens all the time. You should tell the girl immidiately. you would be doing her a grave injustice if you dont tell her. You should tell her so that she makes their plan. the old ghusat buddha will die soon and she will have to live with whome he marries her. i hate arranged marriages.

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Permalink Reply by Rachna Gupta on June 25, 2012 at 2:30am

Thank you Rohini Di. I have been mulling over this dilema for some time. I feel damned if I don't tell her and her boyfriend. Her father is either not knowing his daughter has a boyfriend or he want his daughter to marry some rich, promising guy. Who can buy diamond for her every month, take her to phoren holiday and produce 2-3 grandchildren for old man to play. Also she is my friend, not her dad.

There is a worry. Her dad is resourceful man. He might try to harm the two. What is called "Honour Killing". I am getting quite worked up and worried.

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Permalink Reply by Ram Prakash on June 25, 2012 at 5:18pm

If they are hindus then why stop them. tell them madam ji.

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Permalink Reply by Munna Lal on June 26, 2012 at 12:03am

I feel that your first loyalty is to your friend, Madam ji. You must tell her what her Babuji is planningfor her, She is an innocent party in this, Before her life is decided by her father, prevent her life from being ruined.

Parent's duty is to raise children and make them capable of living independantly in this world. They do not own their kids. That is wha my opinion is.

Munna Lal Kedia

MA, MA (usa), MBA

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Permalink Reply by Rohini on June 26, 2012 at 1:14am

Its hard bringing up parents.

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Permalink Reply by Sudhir Kumar Sinha on July 1, 2012 at 3:25am

Tell the parents to find out if their daughter has someone in her mind before they diclose about Indian boy and the same time tell your friend that you met her parents and they are planning for her marriage. This will be a good hint to both and you will be guilt freee as you have hited both of them.